


On the Brink

by Chibirini1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Bliss, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light Dom/sub, Love, Marriage, Panic Attacks, Rey has anxiety, Reylo - Freeform, Snoke Being a Dick, Squirting, Top Kylo Ren, True Love, but also barely present, lol jk, umm of course the ben solo pain train
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 07:50:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibirini1/pseuds/Chibirini1
Summary: Kylo and Rey can barely stand to be in the same room anymore. Their marriage, once happy and whole, is now on the brink of divorce. What can they do?





	On the Brink

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, sorry I have been a ghost in the wind but I am rejoining the human race, I swear. I have twitter now (1chibirini) and of course, I'm always on tumblr (Alicecantescape). Come find me. I love you. And Reylo, even though I wrote a divorce fic about them. Let me know what you think!

As they sat across each other at their table, it was quiet. Ben sipped his coffee, his gaze pointed outside the window despite the fact that his eyes were glazed and unseeing. The rain outside dripped from the bright green spring leaves onto the grass, but Rey did not notice it either. Her eyes were on the clock, wondering how she was going to make it through 30 more minutes of disappointed silence.

She picked up her spoon and began eating her soggy cereal. She had been lost in thought too long. But this..thing…that covered and suffocated her and Ben did not tamper with her appetite, at least. She shoveled the cold food into her mouth until suddenly she felt cold eyes on her.

“What?” She mumbled, staring at the bridge of Ben’s nose rather than his powerful, deep eyes.

“Could you eat any faster?” Ben snapped, and Rey’s face immediately began to heat. Partly in embarrassment, partly in anger, and despite the instant regret she saw in Ben’s eyes, she exploded.

“Maybe if my husband spoke to me once in a while, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry!” She retorted.

Ben slammed his coffee down onto the table and Rey winced.

“I don’t have to deal with this,” he said, sweeping his laptop and a huge pile of papers off the granite counter and into his workbag. Rey felt tears prick her eyes.

“Fine, just ignore me,” she said bitterly. She knew she didn’t matter, not in his eyes. Not like she used to.

He swiveled and she pressed her back against the wooden chair in preparation of his rage.

“Me, ignore you?” He said. “That’s rich.” Ben grabbed his coffee as if he intended on taking it with him wherever he was going, most likely to work.

“Run away, you coward,” she said, and instantly she knew she had gone too far.

“I am not a coward!” He seethed and a tear escaped her eye, but he didn’t notice. Instead, he threw his coffee cup towards the living room wall, far away from both of them. It exploded against the deep blue wall with a deafening sound that silenced them both.

Shocked, Rey gaped at her husband. Ben hadn’t acted like this since they had begun dating him. In fact, the last time he had been so angry that he had destroyed something was the night he had beaten up some jerk who had been harassing Rey. She had made him promise that he would never do it again, that she could handle herself and that he needed to handle himself. He had sworn to her that he could control himself, and he had for the next 2 years of dating and 2 years of marriage. Until now.

He was breathing hard, but she could tell he was shocked too. She stood, her heart beating too fast. She was going to panic, she knew it. But not here, not here in front of him.

As she began to flee, pushing past him to go upstairs, he grabbed her arm gently, trying to keep her with him.

“Rey,” he tried, but she pushed all six feet of him against the granite counter.

“Don’t touch me,” she spit back. For the first time in her marriage, she didn’t feel safe.

Rey barreled upstairs and locked herself into the bathroom. She turned on the shower with shaking hands and then sunk onto the toilet seat, pressing her face into her hands to muffle her sobs. Panic seized her, choked her. All she wanted in this moment was to feel Ben wrap his arms around her, the smell of his cologne comforting her. She had had panic attacks every so often in college and even when she began dating Ben, but soon after she told him about them he had been there for her. Holding her in his lap, stroking her hair and telling her to breath. Telling her she was safe. And she did feel safe, tucked against him. She trusted him, even then at the beginning. But now, that trust was broken, and the thought of him hearing her cry or knowing she was having an attack sickened her.

He wasn’t her ally anymore.

They had been living like this for three months after that one terrible night at Ben’s work banquet. She felt the urge to vomit, thinking of that night, but she calmed herself down by taking a deep breath in the midst of her hyperventilating. She didn’t want to be sick.

Finally the attack passed. But she still stayed in the bathroom, the steam from the shower curling around her like Ben used to every night. They slept in separate beds now—she in their big bed and he in the guest room. She missed him terribly, but her pride would never let herself show that. He only came to their bedroom now for his clothes, which she sometimes smelled on days he was gone late into the night. But he didn’t know that.

When the full mirror on the wall became completely fogged and Rey a little light headed from all the steam, she finally turned off the water and ventured out into their large bedroom.

He had wanted her to paint it whatever color she had wanted, so she would feel at home in the big apartment. She had painted it a soft blue, with the ceiling a dark, midnight color. She had refused painters and done it herself, seeing no need to spend money on something she could do on her own. Ben had helped her, and when it was done they had made love on a paint smeared sheet beneath the midnight blue ceiling.

Recalling this made Rey curse softly under her breath. She peeked out the large window strung with crisp white curtains to see if Ben’s car was still parked out front. It wasn’t. She felt sweet relief at this, but a bitter taste of regret soon followed.

She hurried downstairs to grab her phone and texted Rose that she wouldn’t be into the autobody shop today. She spied the broken pieces of the coffee mug in the trash. Ben had hastily tried to clean up the mess, but she could still smell the spilled coffee in the air.

Ignoring the twist in her stomach from seeing the mug and the stained paper towels in the trash, she turned to their big kitchen window to stare out at the rain.

Spring was upon them, but for the first time in her life, Rey did not rejoice. She was only reminded of how she had felt two years ago when they had married in April beneath the bright sun while the scent of flowers wafted through the warm air. She had felt so hopeful, so happy. Ben’s job hadn’t been working him too hard, and Han had given Rey the rights to the autobody shop as a wedding gift.

“I feel better knowing it’s going to family,” he had told her with a proud smile. But that was before Han had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. He had died just six months ago.

But even that hadn’t shaken their marriage to the foundation. They had mourned together, both feeling like they lost a parent since Rey had been working at the shop with Han since she was 16 after she had come to live with Maz. They had held hands tightly throughout the entire funeral, not wanting to be apart even for a second.

And yet somehow, things were different now.

Rey ran her fingers along the smooth wooden shelf Ben had made for her that hung across their fireplace. It was a deep chestnut, smooth to the touch as butter was. Their wedding picture and photos of Maz, Ben’s parents, and Rey and Finn stood on top. She had an urge to look away from the picture of she and Ben, but forced herself to look at it. They had been so happy. Why had things changed?

Deep inside her heart, Rey know who exactly she blamed. And it wasn’t she or Ben. It was Ben’s boss, Snoke.

Ben had been working like a dog for months. They barely even had a honeymoon. But soon, he told Rey, it would all be done. Snoke was stepping down, retiring from the law firm Ben worked for. Surely, Ben said, he would appoint Ben as his successor. He was Snoke’s right-hand man—slave, more like it—and his only competition was Hux, who was high strung and kept losing cases to a certain Poe Dameron, who worked under Ben’s mother at her law firm.

But even Poe couldn’t beat Ben. And as much as Rey didn’t support the kind of work Ben did, she did support him, and was relieved to hear that Snoke would be out of the picture. He was a slimy kind of creature, and stood for everything Rey didn’t like. And unlike Ben, who did it to get a leg up and to be able to choose his own cases one day, Snoke seemed to revel in defending rapists and tax evaders and rich, greedy CEOs. Rey despised him.

The day of Snoke’s retirement banquet finally came, and Rey had been so excited. Ben had graciously bought her a new dress, a stunning lavender silk with velvet accents. Ben was babbling about all the changes he was going to make--“Starting with firing that twig, Hux,”—and she hadn’t seen him this elated since their wedding day. Most of all, she was relieved that she’d have her Ben back. They could snuggle and watch movies like they used to, eat dinner together, maybe even have more time to explore all their desires and fantasies in the bedroom. No more waiting up for him to come home, no more quick fucks on their sofa instead of real intimacy, no more leaving out food for her husband like a stray dog.

They had gone hand in hand into the hotel the banquet was being held at, a little late because Ben had needed to quickly ravish her once he saw her in that dress. But as soon as they had gotten to the party, Snoke had demanded Ben’s full attention. Solving some crisis or another, of course. Rey was left nibbling on appetizers and sipping two glasses of champagne in a corner. Finally he returned to her, looking rumpled and irritated. Still, he managed a tired smile when she kissed his cheek.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. He knew Rey didn’t like these functions. She was much more comfortable working under a car than managing a conversation with some snob.

She shrugged it off as they took their seats. Soon, she thought. Soon everything would be different.

The main course was served, and Snoke, sitting at the head of the great table, raised his glass.

“Thank you for a delightful evening,” he said as a hush fell over the crowd. They all knew what was about to happen. Rey thought so too.

But she could be wrong.

“I’d like to thank everyone at the firm for their hard work, and of course I have a little announcement to make.”

Rey smiled at Ben, but he did not see it. He was staring at Snoke, his chest puffed and his lips quirked. He was ready to accept.

But Rey caught a little movement across the table. Someone else was looking at Ben, and it wasn’t Snoke. It was Hux. He was smirking, staring at Ben like something was about to happen.

Rey suddenly felt a little queasy.

“Of course, I am loathe to leave the firm. But I am leaving it in such capable hands—the hands that helped me build it up,” Snoke continued. Rey swallowed, dryly.

Snoke smiled and looked towards Ben, but just for a moment. Then his filmy eyes flicked across the table. “Armitage Hux, won’t you join me up here?”

Rey felt Ben go very still next to her, and her stomach dropped. No. No. It couldn’t happen this way. Surely…surely this was a mistake!

Snoke’s smile seemed to grow, the edges turning cruel. Rey reached to put her hand on Ben’s arm, but he moved so fast that she only caught air.

He slammed his hands into the table and pushed away from it. As Rey sat in her seat, shell shocked and watching her husband’s back disappear through the door, she heard Snoke’s voice through the tense silence.

“Well now we know why he wasn’t chosen,” Snoke said dryly, and the crowd laughed. And as they Laughed, Rey stood and ran to the door, cheeks heated with anger and embarrassment.

She ran outside with her coat only to find no one there but an empty street. Snow had just began to fall, and the dark night was too quiet.

There was a sudden squeal of tires as a car whizzed out of the garage across the street and drove to stop right in front of the garage. It was their car, or well, Ben’s car. Sleek and black and new, it was nothing Rey would have ever chosen. And now she recognized it with dread.

She slipped into the passenger seat, casting a glance at Ben, who was holding the steering wheel so tight that Rey could see the leather straining.

“Buckle your seatbelt,” he ordered in a tight voice.

Rey did, and bit her lip. She had never seen Ben like this. If he was angry, he was shouting or sarcastic, never silent and cold.

“Ben-“ she began, but he cut her off.

“I don’t need your pity,” he snarled, and she drew back in her seat as if he’d slapped her. Pity? Is that what he thought her love, her concern was?

He drove much faster than the speed limit, and it was making Rey nervous. She was angry and drawn as tight as a string.

“Slow down,” she snapped as Ben ran his third stoplight. But it was as if he had not even heard her. She started to breathe a little too fast, a sure sign that she was getting too close to a panic attack than she was comfortable with. And Ben who, when he was home, was usually so attentive, did not say a thing.

Finally they reached home. Ben turned off the engine but did not move. Neither did Rey.

Neither spoke. Finally, Rey took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Ben,” she said. “I’m so sorry-“

His eyes looked at her, and they were as dark as a bruise.

“Are you?” He said. “Are you really?”

She was confused for a moment. “Yes?” she said. “Of course I am—”

“You didn’t want me to get the job. I know you didn’t. Because you think I work too hard already.”

Rey felt a flash of white hot anger and her temper rose. She needed to get away.

“You’re making things up,” she hissed. “I wanted you to get that job so you could finally have some time to breathe! And maybe even spend some time with me!”

“I knew it.” Ben hissed. “I knew you resented me.”

This was too much. Rey unbuckled her seatbelt, which was suddenly so tight.

“You can’t go on like this,” she said, trembling. “You’ll break!”

Ben whirled in his seat to fully look at her now. “And then what if I do?” he asked. “Will you reject me when I’m no longer useful to you? Like an old car part you’d scrap?” His voice taunted her.

She grabbed the door handle, already hyperventilating and scrambled out the door. She heard Ben scream her name, but she ran, just ran away until she tripped in the grass, her heels sticking in the dirt. She laid there, in the cold and wet grass, breathing too fast as her mind sped off it’s tracks. She began to shiver, and cried out when she felt two hands touch her.

“Rey,” Ben said, but she could not answer him. She hit at him, trying to get away. He staggered back when one of her aimless blows smacked his ribs.

“Leave me alone!” She screamed, just wanting the hurt to go away. Wanting to breathe again. He had done this. Hadn’t he?

He had always been her comfort. Never had they fought like this before. Never had it gotten this far. Tears streamed down Rey’s cheeks but she did not notice. She just wanted this, all of this, to be over.

When her breathing slowed and she finally could breathe again, she lifted her head and found herself alone. The car was gone, and so was Ben. Shock washed over her. He had left her there. Alone.

She sat for a moment, hurt and fear welling up inside her, rearing for another go. But she remembered this time what she was supposed to do. Deep breaths. Counting. Finally she staggered to her feet and found the spare key beneath their mat. She cried in the shower and went to bed, exhausted and heartbroken. When she woke up the next morning, Ben was home—but he had slept in the guest bedroom.

And there he had stayed. They had never spoken of that night. And Rey stopped wanting to. She found herself waiting, just waiting for him to leave. Somehow, she had failed him. She hadn’t helped him when he needed her, and then he hadn’t helped her. She figured it was a waiting game—when would he leave?

And now, three months later, it was spring and yet he was still here. But once again, things had come to a head. And once again, there seemed to be no answer to their problems.

Rey turned away from the shelf and the pictures. She was due to be at the shop, but she knew Rose would cover for her. It was time to do what Ben seemed to lack the courage to do: leave.

Slowly she made her way upstairs. She could stay with Maz. At least until she found an apartment. She’d come get the rest of her things later.

She methodically and mindlessly packed her suitcase. _Am I running away?_ She thought. No. She wasn’t. She was walking away. There was a difference.

She took some clothes, her toiletries, and a locket that had been given to her by Maz. Ben’s picture was inside. Ben had spoiled her with gifts of jewelry and clothes and tools and books, but she didn’t take any of those. She didn’t want those memories. Not anymore.

Rey zipped up her bag and headed down stairs and put it in the car. As she did, she caught sight of the beautiful diamond and opal ring Ben had given to her for their engagement. Carefully, she twisted it off.

Silently she walked back through the house and put the ring on Ben’s nightstand, where he would find it. Surely it had never been right for her grease-stained fingers. She swallowed hard and walked back downstairs.

As she reached the last step, the front door opened. Rey froze in shock—Ben was never home this early. He had just left a few hours ago. But there he was, standing in the doorway, looking at her.

“Rey,” he said, his voice cracking. He paused. “I wanted to—”

He stopped himself as he stared at her. Or more specifically, her hand.

He closed the door behind him and walked a little closer as Rey clenched her hand into a fist and hid it behind her back.

But he had already noticed.

“Where is your ring?” He asked, gently.

She bit her lip and stepped down onto the cold tile floor.

“On your nightstand,” she replied.

He swallowed, and looked at her.

“Are you leaving me?” He asked in a voice that was too boyish and vulnerable for her to even look at him.

She pressed her lips together firmly. She opened her mouth and tried to say yes. But she couldn’t, so she ended up nodding instead.

Ben was quiet for a moment.

“Please, Rey,” he finally said. “Don’t do this.”

She stiffened. “Why, Ben?” she said, not unkindly. “Why shouldn’t I?”

She honestly saw no reason not to. He was angry and hurt and distant. So was she. And it was only getting worse. And she would not stay with a man who made her feel unsafe in her own home. Not when she didn’t have to.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” he tried. “I don’t know why I was so out of control, but it was an accident.”

“No it was not.”

He looked at her, desperately. She swallowed.

“You threw it on purpose, Ben.” She said. “You were that angry.”

Ben nodded slowly. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he whispered.

She shook her head. “It’s just not enough anymore, Ben. But I’m sorry too.”

Rey tried to move, but it seemed as if she was moving in slow motion. Just as she reached the garage door, she heard him follow her.

“Rey, wait,” he said, and she turned back, trying her best not to cry. She had to be strong, even if he couldn’t.

Ben looked at her like she held the last breath of air in the universe. Desperately.

“I quit today.”

She didn’t process what he said for a moment. Then it sunk in, a little too late.

“What?” She said.

“I quit,” he repeated, coming close. “I quit because you’re right: I am a coward. I know things have been wrong, they have been for a while now, and I haven’t wanted to try and fix it. But after this morning…I do. I know we have to work on it, and I need to work on myself. But I quit today because I would rather have you than anything else in the whole world. You’re everything to me. I love you.”

Tears filled Rey’s eyes and she felt herself breathing faster. But this time, she rushed into his arms instead of past him. He held her tight, so tight that she could barely breathe. But it was a comforting tightness, a safe space.

“I love you too,” she said, crying on his shoulder. He buried his face into her hair and she could hear him crying too.

“Don’t leave me, Rey,” he said. “Please.”

She nodded and then pushed him away, just a little so that she could reach up and guide his face down to kiss her. They kissed a few times, as if they couldn’t breathe any other way. Rey felt her hair sticking to her cheeks and Ben’s was in his eyes, but for once she could feel him, feel him close again like they had never been apart.

She kissed him deeply then, taking the lead. He picked her up and stood there stupidly in the kitchen while they kissed until they finally broke for air.

“Take me to our bed,” she whispered, and he looked at her and smiled, goofily. As if he couldn’t believe it. Carefully, as if holding precious cargo, he walked them both upstairs and into their bedroom.

Once they were both naked and skin to skin, Rey realized she was still crying. It felt so good to be touched, to be loved. Especially by Ben. Only by Ben, who knew what she needed and why.

They laid, intertwined and kissing, and only her leg grinding against his thigh seemed to shake him from the stupor that had fallen over both of them as they had drank in each other’s embrace.

“I want you,” he said. “But I can wait. If you want to.”

She smiled through her tears and shook her head. “I want you too.”

She took a deep breath as he entered her. The stretch was almost uncomfortable—it had been a long three months. He moaned and paused halfway in.

“Oh, Rey,” he said. “You feel so good.”

“More,” she begged, grabbing his ass to push him in further. “I need all of you.”

He did as she asked, then began thrusting a little unevenly. They were a little out of practice, but soon found a nice rhythm that felt oh so good.

Ben lifted her legs and kissed her ankle as he thrust in and out of her. She moaned as she watched his thick, red, throbbing length slide in and out. He lifted her legs onto his shoulders and began thrusting deep, so deep inside her that she saw stars as he began to rub against that special little rough patch only he could ever find.

“Oh shit,” she gasped. “I’m close, Ben, I’m close.”

He smiled at her—he was so handsome when he smiled—and slowed down. She whimpered, knowing exactly what he wanted.

“Please, Ben,” she said. “I can’t, not tonight.”

“You can and you will,” he promised, beginning to thrust again—slowly, as he circled her bud. “I want to feel you come all around me. I want you to soak these damn sheets so I can smell it on you every day.”

He thrust in long, deep thrusts, keeping her on edge for so long. She began to beg, to twist away from his hand as he rubbed her clit.

“Please,” she said, not sure what she was asking for anymore. “Please.”

“Ask for it, Rey,” he said. “I’ve missed you so much, I need to hear you.”

He hit her cervix and she groaned, but tried to focus hard. “I need your cock, Ben,” she said. “I need it hard and fast.”

He leaned forward so that they were close again, so that he could kiss her. “Good girl,” he whispered, and then it began. He thrust hard and he thrust fast. He gave it to her as much as he could, hitting the same spot over and over. He rubbed her clit viciously, and Rey reached her peak so suddenly that she couldn’t even warn him. With a gush of wet fluid from her opening, she came all over his cock and their sheets as she screamed his name.

He thrust still, working her through his orgasm and letting go to feel his own. He shouted her name as he came, warm and throbbing into her. It felt like his heart was beating inside her.

She was trembling from her release, but managed to kiss him back as he slowly left her and rolled onto his side. He held her close.

“I love you so much,” he murmured. “I’d do anything for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you that night.”

She shook her head. “I was the one who couldn’t help you,” she said. “I was so angry and upset—I had that stupid panic attack and I just couldn’t—”

“I should have been there,” Ben said. “But you told me to leave and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Rey rested for a while in his arms, thinking. Her hair tickled her back.

“I think we should go to counseling,” she said softly. “Just to talk out some things.”

He nodded. “I don’t like it, but I’ll do anything to make this better.”

Rey kissed his cheek and he looked at her, his eyes serious and dark.

“I think I’ll try to get a job at the Resistance,” he said. “Or maybe start my own firm. But not yet. I want to just be with you for a while. Wait until we are…better.”

She smiled at him. “I’d love that.” She said. “You can be a stay at home husband and cook for me.”

“I always was a better cook,” he said dryly.

She nudged him playfully and he kissed her nose. Then he pressed his forehead against hers.

“Hey,” he said. “I love you.”

“Hey,” she said. “I love you too.”

It was a good start.

**Author's Note:**

> If you tweet at me I will follow you to the ends of this earth.


End file.
